The Scarlet Numbers 5.3.12
TOP TEN MOVIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER DIES AT THE END
Hey world. I only have like five minutes to make this blog so I’m going to make this short and sweet. We’re going to talk about movies that make us cry. Movies that make us so sad that we’re practically suicidal after we watch them….because life is just so sad sometimes. Like in movie:
when poor little Maculay Culkin gets stung by a bee and dies. How sad was that! Forget Bambi’s mother, that was NOTHING compared to how tear jerking this movie was. I’m convinced this movie was made by a sick and twisted man who was determined to break all of our hearts! Unfortuately for us…he suceeded. All of our hearts and broken now beyond repair, from movies like MY GIRL...and the next nine movies that I’m about for write about.
Okay, I have four mintues left. I can do this…I can do this…
“Okay little kiddies, I’m going to die now.
Who wants to drink some poison lemonaide?”
HOW suicidal were you when you first figured out the Charolette died. I’ll tell you one thing, I’m sure glad I didn’t have a loaded pistol in my pink little backpack because I would have blown my little girl brains out! This movie makes you so attached to a stupid cartoon spider that you almost forget that you absolutely hate spiders and if you ever saw Charolette in real life you would have probably squashed her with your bare hands. You feel sympathy for Wilbur as you sit and watch the movie eating bacon and not realizing the irony. But the tears that fall from your face and a unique salty flavor to the bacon that makes this movie unforgettable.
I’m lucky I didn’t bring a gun to school on the day I saw this movie in 2nd grade.
- Being Retarded
Just about any movie you see Leo will either be retarded or die. However, there’s too many to movies of his to list where he dies to be able to fit into this top 10 list. People for some reason just love to see Dicaprio die. Maybe because he’s retarded.
Anyway, I decided to exluclude: Inception, Catch me if you Can, and pretty much every other movie he’s been in and just include three. The first is “What’s Eating Gilberts Grape.” IF you’ve never seen this movie you have no idea what it’s like to bawl your freaking eyes out for three weeks straight and be sent to a mental hospital and put on medication for depression. This movie is so sad the actors all had trouble saying their lines throughout the whole movie. For example, in the picture above, Leo wasn’t even supposed to be crying in this scene, but he just couldn’t hold it in any longer because the plot of this movie is so freaking sad, he just broke down.
Leo didn’t die in this movie, but he was retarded.
#7. Romero And Juilet (The Good One)
This one is a double feature because Leo is retarded AND he dies. What can I say about this movie that hasn’t already been said. How would Shakespere have ever known how great the soundtrack for this movie would be? BETTER than the movie itself! Classic songs by Garabage, Radiohead, and Everclear just to name a few….
I can’t even talk about this movie without going on a long rant about how great this soundtrack was and then how they released a SECOND sountrack for the movie that TOTALLY sucked. But I’ll have to make an excuse to go on this rant some other time – because right now I really don’t have time to write about that. Let’s just say that the reason this movie is on the list is because at the end the two main characters die. And it’s sad, but not as sad and the 2nd soundtrack of this movie. Which Shakespere would have hated!
Three mintues left…..I can do this!!!
Another movie where Dicaprio is 100% in full RETARD mode. Also, he notably dies at the end with his lover..what’s up with these double sucicide flicks?
#5. Where the Red Fern Growns
I really don’t even remember this movie, all I know is I cried and I think someone dies or something. Make this kid kills himself and his two dogs and it’s really tear jerking. I’m not going to waste my time looking it up right now.
And and speaking of dying dogs…
#4. Marley And Me
“I make bitches cry. That’s what I do.”
Fuck this movie! Every theatre must have looked like New Orlean after Katrina with all of the tears in the theatre. Just think of all that soggy popcorn. Why do people make such sappy crappy crap! Ugh. Where’s my gun?
#3. The Sopranos
Running out of time.
#2. Child’s Play 3
“Say Goodbye to your ****ing franchise!”
When Chucky died in Child’s Play three I was depressed beyond words. I would explain more, but I have to go.
SORRY! I’ll finish this later!