The Scarlet Numbers

Cats are the stupidiest animals on the planet.  They’re fucking retarded.  Seriously.

 This was origionally going to be a top ten list, but then I realized…I could do 90 more of these….so every once in awhile when I can’t think of anything else to write about I’m going to continue this…

So here’s the first 10 things I hate about cats….

  1. Everything. They’re not even cute.  How many cats have you seen on the internet?  A billion.  It’s annoying.  Where’s my pitchfork?

2. Cats don’t even like you. Do you think this cat ENJOYS being in a chicken suit?  Trust me, if this cat had fingers and you gave him a loaded pistol he would shoot you.

In the face.

Cats seriously think they own you.

That’s how dumb and naive they are.

Someone needs to wipe every cat off the face of this earth.

It’s too bad Hitler didn’t hate cats.

3. Cats hate you.

Yeah they’re cute…but they hate you. That’s why they shit ten times a day. Trust me. They could easily let it all out in one sitting, but how else can they express how much they despise you!

Ironically you still love them unconditionally.

Because you’re stupid.

4. Cats are lazy.

Almost 95% of cats are unemployed.

Get a job you lazy piece of shit.

This cat definately isn’t doing anything to shore up our economy.

5. Cats never do anything.

Have you ever just observed a cat for 15 minutes. They just zone off like they’re on acid or something. These unsophisticated animals are more inactive than everyone sitting in front of their PC’s playing Diablo 3.

But for some reason everyone loves cats and hates everyone playing Diablo 3. Wtf??? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

6. Cats are stupid.

Seriously. They’re fucking dumb. This cat couldn’t beat up anyone.

Ever see a cat solve a math problem? No. The only math they ever do is subtraction. They count down from 10 every day while they poop. In 45 minute intervals. Just to piss you off. Because they like to watch you scoop up their shit..because they think they own you.

7. Cats are disgusting.

Look at that bum.  Reminds me of one of those stinky homesless bums who beg for change on the side of the road.  Execept bums are less stinky.

Who likes cleaning up cat shit five times a day?

Who likes to clean up fur balls! Yuck!

#8.  Cats can’t spell 

 Seriously.  How many times have you seen a cat speak proper English?  Just look at the picture above….”You SHOULDN’T have EATEN that HIPPY.”

My 5 year old daughter can spell better than a cat…

and I don’t even have a 5 year old daughter!!!

9. Can’t Aren’t Even Cute 

Don’t you just want to stomp on it?

You know exactly what it’s thinking….

“Give me some food you little bitch…”

That’s exactly what it’s thinking.

And you’re going to be a little bitch and feed it.

TO BE CONTINUED….

-Scarlet