Two girls one Zuck? Not anymore. The Zuckrooster has just tied the knot and his penis will forever be condemned to one vagina.

A day after the historic Facebook IPO, founder, CEO, and Zucking genius Mark Zuckerberg updated his zucking status Saturday to “married. The Zuck miester wed 27-year-old Priscilla Chan (creator of 4-Chan) and famous from the viral 2008 video “Two Girls One Cup” According to a guest authorized to speak for the couple, the was the biggest Zucking mistake Zuckroono has made in his entire Zucking life.The person spoke only on the condition of anonymity because he was embarrassed.

The couple married at his Palo Alto, Calif. home in front of fewer than 100 Zucking guests who thought they would be at an orgy to celebrate Chan’s graduation from medical school.

Zuckerberg gave his new bride a cup and asked her to reenact Americas Favorite Video for the audience. After she shat in the cup the Zucking miester helped reenact the rest of the scene.

-Theassociatedscarletnumberspress