The 1st & Last Time I will ever talk about TV.
The Scarlet Numbers – 6.1.12
Hello world. Do you like to TV shows? I hate TV more than practically anything. I especially hate anything that is scripted. Shows like NCIS have dialoge that it so fake I can’t even watch 30 seconds before wanting to rip my TV off the wall and smash it into pieces.
TV just doesn’t even make any sense anyone.
“What’s the point in having commercials on tv if we’re all just going to skip through them on our DVR’s!!!!”
What kind of MORONIC company would pay to have their ads skipped?
Seriously. I couldn’t watch American Idol or Dancing with the Stars if I were paid to do so. Sitting through that crap would turn me into a full-fledged serial killer in less than 30 minutes. Luckily for society as a whole, I’m not “into” these shows.
Shows like the Mentalist are mentally retarded and “How I Met Your Mother” sounds like something that I would say to Chadwick.
Enough about what I don’t like….
Let’s talk about some of the shows that I actually wouldn’t mind watching if I had a gun up to my head and forced me to watch TV for 3 hours:
#1. Forensic Files:
Thank god for shows like this. These shows teach you everything you need to do to get away with murder. Every since I started watching this show I’ve been killing people non-stop. My life has just been a non-stop slaughterfest.
Honestly, if I weren’t for this show, I’d probably be sitting in jail right now.
Let’s move on…
#2. Chelsea Lately show on E!
I’m actually watching her show right now…and she’s not even on there’s a guest host. But the show is pretty much the same. It’s almost as if she really doesn’t do anything on the show at all. This is a dumb show, but Chelsea talks a lot of crap about a lot of celebrities and it’s just kind of fun.
Chelsea’s sidekick is this little guy named Chuy…
#3. Rachael Maddow’s show:
If you happen to be as obsessed with this blog as I am, you probably remember me writing: 10 Reasons Why I Love Racheal Maddow. I think she’s probably one of the best journalists out there. Every day she puts on a great informative show that is full of tons of useful information.
However, I don’t like when she talks about women’s issues…
Her one-side view of women is biased, obvious, and just well….not my favorite cup of lesbo.
Probably my favorite journalist is:
#4. Chris Matthews
This guy knows what he’s talking about. If everyone watched his show, this country would be well-informed, intelligent, and there wouldn’t be a single Romney voter in the entire country…Romney wouldn’t even vote for himself if he watched Chris Matthews’ show every day.
“If Romney watched Chris Matthews every day, he’d know how to spell America.”
”Did you happen to watch Chris Matthews last night?
This guy knows more about us than we do! LOL”
Perhaps the show that I like the most besides Chris Matthews is:
#5.Anderson Cooper’s AC: 360
“Yo. Whad up dog. I’m Anderson Cooper and I’m here to rock your world.”
That’s right. Anderson Cooper. The sharpest tool in every shed of news who sheds light on every shred of news before it’s thrown in the shredder. Anderson Cooper reminds me of GUILE from Street Fighter 2…
If Anderson Cooper were in a “news” fight with Bill O’Reilly he’d hit him with a lethal
A sonic boom of reality.
Okay, this last show that I watch is not on everyday, however, I’ve actually watched the first couple episodes only because I’m super psyched Howard Stern is ACTUALLY somehow on televison…
#6. America’s Got Talent
Everyone and everything on this show is stupid except for Sharon and Howard Stern. But Howard actually makes a show like this worth watching. There was like a 6 year old kid who wanted to be a rapper who came up on stage rapping about “getting money” and Howard just slams down the buzzer and makes this poor little kid cry.
It was awesome.
Then the whole audience staring booing at Howard so he’s obligated to go up on stage and make the kid feel better. So Howard gets up there and essintialy says…
“Don’t worry little guy…you were better than
any rapper I’ve ever seen…rap just sucks, it’s not your fault! “