The Scarlet Numbers
Hello world. When the Rapture happened on September 11th 2001, we’ve all been waiting for an Antichrist to arise and take over the world. However, it seems like this Destroyer of all mankind as been pretty low-key for the past ten years. In fact, hell…no one even knows who he or she actually truly is…
So let’s go through some potiential candiates…
#1. Justin Bieber
The Devil is also known by the name of Beezlebub. Justin Beiber is also known as J-Beebs, Biebs, Bieber, Beebs. Coincidence? I think not! Who eles in this would has a perfect Klout Score? No one. If anyone in this world were potientially be the Antichrist, Justin Bieber would be a practical canidate. Still not convinced? Let take a look at the facts:
- His favorite colors are blue and purple. (The same colors that you get after getting punched in the eye.)
- His favorite food is spaghetti. (Really? Some pretty inhuman if you ask me.)
- His favorite number is 6. (Ohhh…really? So this means if you ask him what his favorite number is three times he’ll say 6,6,6.)
- He speaks fluent French. (Yep…definately the devil)
#2. Julian Assange
Could the leader of Wikileaks be disguised as the Prince of Darkness himself? This might be a lot more realistic than you think. This man is a genius. Just admit it: He’s smarter than you and he’s probably smarter than your entire family combined. Even smarter than your little sister. He will be remembered as the man who almost destroyed diplomatic ties between the US and several other countries. But is he the Antichrist? Let’s take a look at the facts:
- He is an expert in computer programming, mathmatics, and physics.
- He is said to have attended six universities. (Ask him three times how many universities he’s attended and he’s say, “Six, six, six.”
- He’s known as one of the 50 most influential people in the world.
- He’s quite the fan of “rapey-time” if you happen to take a look at his criminal background.
Still not convinced? Well then, let’s more on because he’s not the only canditate we have in this blog who is running for the job of torturing your soul for all eternity….
#3. Marilyn Manson
If you look closely in this picture Marilyn Mason actually has 6 fingers on each hand. Coincidence? I think not! This guy has claimed to be “The All-American-Anti-Christ” but was he joking or was he dead serious? Yeah Marilyn Manson is scary looking an most people would dismiss him as being “influential.” But maybe that’s what the Antichrist is supposed to do in the first place. Perhaps he’s already spoke his message and now his job is to mislead everyone into thinking is actually isn’t the Antichrist when he actually is. Let’s take a look at the facts:
- Appointed a “Reverend” by the Church of Satan.
- Rips up Bibles on Stage Frequently
- Has millions of fans all willing to shoot-up highschool just for fun.
- Likes donuts.
I would think of all people Marilyn Manson definately is a potiential candiate for being the actual Antichrist. He may not seem dangerous now, but just wait until he dies and then rises three days later to destroy the world. Then you might have a chance of heart.
#4. Mark Zuckerberg
This guy has Antichrist written all over his face. (It’s in invisible ink though so you can’t see it in this pic.) This inventor of Facebook might actually be the Lord of the Flies himself…so before you log onto Facebook again you might want to ask yourself, “Am I doing this right thing? Is this stupid website worth my eternal soul?” If you haven’t yet read the “Terms and Conditions” when you agree to use Facebook, you might want to glance at the part when you’re agreeing to sell your soul.
Still not convinced? Let take a look at the facts:
- Zuckerberg’s nickname after joining his fraternity Alpha Epsilon Pi was “Slayer.”
- He kills animals and eats them. In a 2011 interview he said: “In order to practice thankfulness, I want to be more connected to the food I eat and the animals that give their lives so I can eat them.”
- He’s a billionaire who could probably easily buy your soul.
Although it’s still debabtable whether this guy is actually the president of the United States, one thing is for sure…he MIGHT be the Antichrist. Here’s an intersting video that actually portrays a theory that Jesus predicted Obama is the Antichrist. Still not convinced? Let’s take a look at the facts:
- This website right here lists about a millions reasons why Obama might be the Antichrist. If a million reasons isn’t enough, then well…you probably believe that Americans never actually made it to the moon.
#6. Martha Stewart
No one supsects it. This is why there’s a 99.9999999999% chance she’s the Antichrist. I could easily list a couple hundred thousand reasons, but I really don’t feel like writing anymore. So just dead with it. Okay?
Of all these six people, who do you think it is? Take the poll and find out!