The Scarlet Numbers 8.3.12

Tastes Like Hate: 3 Reasons You Should Never Eat At Chick-Fil-A Ever Again 

 There is no better place for homosexuals to suck each others big fat hairy dicks than under the roof of a Chik-Fil-A.  That’s the best place to do it, in case you’re hungry for a big fat hairy dick right now and looking for a place to suck it.

How dare a company try to make a profit off of homophobia.  That’s just wrong and completely Unamerican.  If you want to be gay in this country that’s your deal.  We should not have to leave it up to our CHICKEN DEALER to decide what’s morally right and wrong.

Here are 3 Reasons Why You should NEVER eat a Chick-Fil-A ever again.  

#1.

Chick-Fil-A Can’t Spell

In case you didn’t notice both “More” and “Chicken” is spelled incorrectly on this image of a cow being crucified on this cross.  Why the FUCK doesn’t know how to spell the word “More” are you FUCKING SERIOUS.

 What a bunch of more-ons.

“That’s not how you spell chicken!!!!”

#2.  Chick-Fil-A = Bigotry:

“Go fuck yourselves you christian bigots.”

Okay, maybe people are being a little too hard on Chick-Fil-A.  I mean, it’s not like they’re refusing to sell chicken to anyone who likes a suck a big one.  The problem is that Chick-Fil-A doesn’t seem to understand the difference between Church and State.

Chick Fil-A is not a church.  

They’re a FUCKING CHICKEN DEALER.

 If they want to preach the word of god, selling chicken should not the be way to do it.  They should become preachers if Christianty is so “special” to them.  However, this is not the case.  Unlike a church (which doesn’t usually make a profit for selling chicken) chick fil-a is making TONS of money from people who proudly stand up against gay marriage.

 Most people in this nation aren’t gay.

Let’s use this fact to encourage people to eat more chicken.

#3. They Capitalize on Christianity as if Jesus himself came down from the sky and told us to “Eat more Chicken.

“Eat this shit niggas…it’s good.”

Chick-Fil-A actually might be on to something here.  All you really have to do is realize what the masses love and then you can easily sell them a chicken sandwich.  Most of the people in this nation love Jesus, what the hell…let’s just slap Jesus’s face on our company image and sell some chicken.

The truth is, just like cows, Jesus can’t talk.  And the LAST thing Jesus would ever say would be, “Eat this shit niggas…it’s good.”  If Jesus were actually alive today he’d probably be dancing around a Chick-Fil-A parking lot in a yellow thong and making out with other men.  That’s just how Jesus rolls.

“I’m on a boat nigggggas!!!!”

If you eat at Chick-Fil-A you are no different than a Nazi.  I encourage EVERYONE to boycott this sorry excuse for a company and eat KFC.

They might be christian.

They may not be.

But one thing is for sure….

they keep their mouths shut.

And your mouth open for some good non-fag-hating chicken

Thanks for reading everyone!  It feels great to be back!!!!

-Scarlet