The Scarlet Numbers 8.31.12

10 Things Every Single Woman Should Know

Hello world.

If you’re single like me, finding a man can be hard work. Unfortunately, unlike you I don’t have great places like http://www.thescarletnumbers.com to fall back on, so I have to learn things the hard way. Here are 10 Tips for single woman that will help you weed out the creeps from the lovely geeks.

1. If he says he’s a “grower not a shower” he probably has a big dick, but problems with erectile dysfunction.

2. Republicans are rich and stupid. Don’t forget this.

3. A man with no muscles cannot carry you down the isle unless you’re under 80 lbs.

4. Cleavage is 700% more effective than makeup.

5. Men like sex. Give it to them.

6. Abortion isn’t cheap. Remember this when you’re having sex with a Democrat.

“What’s that? You’re broke?

That’s what you get for sleeping with a democrat.” 

7. Never date a rich man. They suck at everything except for having money.

8. Men love anal sex. Give it to them.

9. College degrees don’t mean anything in bed. Remember that.

(Bad in bed.)

10. Men who drink beer live longer.